Friday, December 27, 2013

Signing

So as I have mentioned, A is deaf. We do not know the extent of his deafness & will not until we get him here to the states. The test the run in his country do not tell the things doctors here need to really understand his deafness. It does not show pitch or anything, so we have no idea.

We have heard stories of child getting here to the US & their ears just needed a good cleaning because the wax build up was causing them not to be able to hear...but in our hearts, we feel he is profoundly deaf. After seeing videos of him, it is just a gut feeling and we are totally ok with that.

We fell in love with A the moment we saw him, before we even read his bio. The sparkle in his eye and his smile & we were hooked. Reading that he was deaf did not phase us in the slightest. We have always said we would be open to a deaf child.

I've always been interested in sign language. When I was in 2nd grade, I would walk around the house & act like I was signing as I talked. I have no idea where this came from, as I had never been around a deaf person. My parents then decided it would be a good idea to put me in a summer school sign language class. I remember having kids books on signing and watching things on TV, I was hooked. Unfortunately it did not start as a language at my high school until I was a senior, so I never took it then, but in college, I was able to. I was able to embrace the deaf community locally and really get involved. You have heard people say they love French or even Italian..they fall in love with the language & the culture...well, that was me with signing.

I loved that with sign language I was able to help deaf people when they least expected it. From a guy at a bar one night trying to order a drink or a family shopping. My husband was with me when I was able to assist the family shopping & he said that was really when he wanted to start learning & thinking more about a deaf child. He said the look of pure joy on the family's face when I started signing to them was priceless.

My mom is convinced that because of everything that drew me to signing I was always meant to learn to be A's mom. She says it was truly meant to be.

Just because I have taken classes, just because my husband & I continue to learn sign language, it does not mean it will be easy once A is home. He knows no sign language & gets by daily with gestures. I know he is smart though and I can only hope that once he starts to learn he will be so excited because he can finally communicate.

Maybe I was always supposed to be his mom....no, I know I was!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Holidays

Growing up the holidays were never that big of a deal. Work was so busy, we had so many birthdays & anniversaries to go along with them as well...in the span of 2 weeks we have my grandparents anniversary, my dad's birthday, Christmas, my birthday, my grandma's birthday and New Years. So when my husband came along & his birthday was the same day as my grandparents anniversary..it only made sense to add it to our crazy mix. Then we found A & well..his birthday too is in the mix, so why not!!

So with all of the happenings, everything really was never special...too much going on to make everything special. To me, the holidays are just a few days off in the craziness that I can finally relax & catch up on sleep. This year however, this year is totally different.

I get teary just writing this. It's hard...it's so hard not having our little man home with us. Our first Christmas since becoming parents & he is not here with us. He will also be turning 3 & we will not be there to celebrate with him.

For a time of year that normally just meant craziness to me, it has a whole new meaning & damnit, that meaning is making it hard for me. I cannot wait to have him home & make the holidays different than they ever were for me. I want everything to be magical...special, not crazy. I am so giddy about the holidays next year...but until then, I will cry. I will be sad he isnt here.
 
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