Thursday, October 31, 2013

Stairway to Heaven

I have not talked about it much yet, however our son is deaf (more coming in upcoming post). We are not adopting him because he is deaf. We are not adopting him due to his 'special need.' We are adopting him because the moment we saw him, we knew. We knew he was meant to be our son. He had a twinkle in his eye & his smile...we just knew. We would be adopting him no matter if he could hear or not.

We do not feel the need to tell people he is deaf, as it doesn't matter to us. If they ask if he speaks English, we will then tell him, but other than that...we do not 'advertise.' I prefer not to tell people, because it seems as soon as they do..the praising starts.

We have been told we are building a stairway to heaven, that we are angels...you name it, we have heard it. This may sound wrong...but I HATE it. I am not doing this to be a 'saint.' His hearing does not change the way I felt about him when I first saw him. His hearing does not change the way we will parent him...he will have every opportunity we would have given a hearing child...we are not doing this for a gold star, a free pass at the pearly gates, whatever you want to call it. I don't want the praise, I do not want to hear about how amazing we are. We are not! We are just a couple that fell in love with a boy & knew he was the missing piece to our family.

I had heard people talk about how others would say things like this when they just said they were adopting & I knew it would be annoying, but I had no idea just how much it would bother me. I had no idea how 'bad' it would be because we were adopting a waiting child.

If I were giving birth to a child & he happened to be deaf, nobody would be telling me I am building my stairway to heaven, so why now?!

I am just me...I am just A's mom. I am nobody special because of who my son is. But I do not think the comments will get better. Am I wrong to be so annoyed by them?!

5 comments:

  1. I think this absolutely fabulous and you will be wonderful parents :) I have many friends and a cousin with deaf children and have learned sign language and also am teaching my kids. I'm looking forward to your next post and your journey! Congrats again!

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  2. You aren't wrong to be annoyed by it. When we were in the process it annoyed me too. We just wanted to build our family in a way that felt right, not save the world. I think the people who make comments like that are the same people who would never consider adoption themselves and so don't really "get it."

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  3. We've gotten some comments too on how "oh I could never do that" and "you're doing such a good thing" and "so many children need homes" etc. Well, it sounds harsh, but we are adopting not necesarrily to "rescue" a child, but to build our family.

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  4. Well that's just...weird. The comments you're getting, not that your son is deaf! Sorry, that came out wrong!

    I've gotten similar comments when I've said that I feel called to adopt a special needs child (for some reason I feel compelled to adopt a child with Down Syndrome, don't know why, God has just put it in my heart). "Oh how wonderful for you to rescue one of 'those poor dears'." Really? And here I thought I was just selfish because I want a baby so bad! LOL

    People are so dumb sometimes.

    I do think it's awesome though, that you were not deterred by his hearing status. As with any child, biological or adopted, step or foster...as Forrest Gump's Mama said "it's like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get"!

    Can't wait to hear more about your baby boy!!! So excited for you!

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