Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Feeling Different

The majority of the time I do not think about not having kids & how different it makes me from other women my age...but the more I am ready to be a mom, the more I realize how truly different I am from those around me.

More & more I have nothing in common with those around me...unless you a good amount younger.

For example, last night I went to a work out class. There was actually only 2 of us in the class & the other girl (who is a year younger than me) I actually knew. So I knew I was older than her & I had NO doubt I was older than the instructor. This was both my first time in this class & the girl I you know how it is, small talk between you & the teacher happens. Of course question #1 was 'do you have kids?' The teacher had a 2 year old & the other girl a 6 month old...then it came to me. Of course my answer was no...& it truly hit me, I know Im older than both you & I don't have a kid. Their conversation went on about kids almost the entire hour class & I had nothing to say..other than 'I have a dog, he thinks he is a kid.'

Women my age talk about preschool, the first day of school, diapers, etc...I don't.

I don't like to think I am that different from those around me, but I am. That 'common' bond most women have...well, I don't have it. I even had a lady remind me of this the other day. She told me how I wouldn't understand this or that until I had kids...without kids, I cannot truly understand. Gee, thanks.

I guess as 32 starts peeking it's head over the horizon, I realize how different I am...I keep getting older, but I still do not have a kid....I should have like 3 by now, especially at my employees standards :/


  1. I hear you!! I just turned 31 this month. Especially with Facebook in today's world, it's so in-your-face that those our age and younger have kids already, and a number are done having their families! I, too, really hate it when people (like my siblings) are talking about parenting and then they'll smile and say to me "You'll understand once you have kids" as if that's supposed to be comforting?? To me it's as if they just said "You don't get it because you don't fit in".

  2. I'm so sorry!! It totally stinks! I know we now have DS through adoption, which makes me feel like I "fit in" more. But, I WILL say that even now when all I hear people talk about is their kids, I feel like they're really missing out in life. Because that's their only identity. When you DO become parents, you'll KNOW who YOU are as a person and as a woman and won't rely on an identity as a mom as the only part of you. I hate to say it, but I really have infertility to thank for that.

  3. I'm sorry. It sucks to feel like you don't fit in, especially when people carry on and on about something you would give anything to be a part of. I agree with Elizabeth on being more aware of who you are and not just as a mom. I feel the same way completely, right down to thanking infertility for it. Right now though, it sucks, and I'm sorry for that.

    Nearing 40 with a one-year-old through adoption...Many of the other mamas are of an age which I could have changed their diapers when they were babies, making fitting in sometimes just as awkward.

    And that "cannot truly understand without kids" thing. I once responded to someone that they couldn't truly understand politics without ever holding any kind of office, yet they still had plenty to say about all of it. ;)


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