Friday, May 17, 2013

More Changes

I hate how much money plays a part of everyone's IF journey...it really makes the whole situation a lot more unfair than it already is.

Looking further into surrogacy information, all the things that go along with it & cost has been a HUGE eye opener for me. I mean, I knew it would be a big process & cost a decent amount..but I truly had NO idea when it came to the cost. We are lucky because it is a tad cheaper due to it being a known surrogate & not using an agency, but still..WOW! After speaking with the RE we wish to go with & getting deeper into the cost, I find myself shying away from it. I have a very hard time swallowing the fact that we would spend up to 6 digits to do a surrogacy & possibly end up with no child. We would spend all our savings, plus have to take out a loan & be paying on it for who knows how long. But the more we got digging & I saw how much just IVF cost, the more I began to think about that.

When the DH & I first started this journey 4.5 years ago. We opted for no treatments because we knew our chances were slim. That all seems like decades ago though..things have changed. We have been through a lot, gotten stronger, taken a break from the baby idea & have grown. We are not who we were then. So I started wondering...why couldnt we try IVF? I mean, we could try a round, not have 6 digits invested in it & still have money to adopt later down the road if we wanted to.

So last night I went to my OB. I wanted to see what he thought of me trying IVF since he knows my history so well. He said he has just been waiting for me to show up in his office pregnant. (the man has held out so much hope for us) We talked about my risk & history & he feels I am in the best shape he has ever seen me & strong & said go for it.

So this morning, I called a new RE to setup a consult. I am still waiting to hear back from them..but G & I are at least going to see what they say.

We also still have our possible adoption situation. She is due July 8th..yep, she was 31 weeks along, not 6 like she originally thought when we found out. We did find out it was a boy...but I really think she is going to decide to parent. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much, because I really am not sure if she will want to put the baby up for adoption. But it is always a possibility.

I never thought I would sit here one day & type the words 'I may do IVF.' I never thought our crazy path would bring us here...so it's all new to me & exciting.

I have a lot more to talk about with all this & my thoughts on it...but I'll save you all for now ;)

7 comments:

  1. I'm so excited for you and G! I can't wait to hear what happens. :)

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  2. We are here as you take the leap- in whatever direction you go. None of us ever thought we'd do IVF- if there's one thing infertility has taught me, it's to never say never. Wishing you the best.

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  3. Sorry if I'm being nosy, but why is surrogacy so much more expensive with a volunteer? I figured the cost would be the same as regular IVF if you don't have to pay the surrogate. Just wondering! I'm wishing you the best of luck with IVF! I hope it works for you AS does the adoption situation. Although I know it's SO VERY hard to really get your hopes up in adoption. You're always afraid it will just fall through. I get that. Keep us posted!

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  4. You have the fees for my IVF..meds for myself & her...lawyer for her, lawyer for us. We have to go through psychological testing, as do her & her husband. Then the insurance will not cover her pregnancy since it would be a surrogacy, so we have to pay for all that too...adds up quick!

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  5. I just stumbled upon your blog, and was drawn into your story immediately. My husband and I are currently trying to decide between adoption, surrogacy, or trying another IVF round. These decisions seem impossible at times, and I know I'm struggling with it. Sending lots of prayers your way! You can view my story at http://lovemarriageivf.blogspot.com/

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  6. Oh my, so much has happened in a short amount if time. 6 figures for surrogacy???? I had no idea it was that expensive.

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