"This doesn't mean the end, this just means a different path." These were the words from my husband as I could not stop crying after telling a special couple we would be giving them all the items from our nursery.
I wanted to give the things to them, nobody was forcing me to. I did it on my own, nobody made me...but wow, I was not expecting to have it hurt so much. I have lived this almost past year not really thinking about IF that much. My health has not allowed me the time to think about not being able to have a child, to think about adoption..none of it, as I have been a bit preoccupied.
This past year I also have only stepped foot in the nursery 1 time. The door stays shut to the room & honestly, I forget it is even there.
When I found out my brother's best friend, who is like a little brother to me, would be a dad, I knew it was time to clean out our nursery.
I know the chances of us having a baby are very slim. I know that if we do adopt, it will be an older child, so the crib we bought, the glider, etc...none of it will be needed.
So, within the next 2 weeks, I will be packing everything up & giving it away. I have already spent my time crying, so I am hoping I can do this without crying again.
I know I will be ok, I know life goes on & this is the right thing for us right now...if something happens, we can always buy new stuff..but it is needed somewhere else right now.