Tuesday, August 14, 2012

6 months

The 10th was 6 months since my PE diagnoses. I thought I would only be on the blood thinners for 6 months, but sadly, now I am on for a year. Oh well, there could be worse things.

It has taken me 6 months to realize I am not ok though. I thought I could handle my PTSD & everything that came along with this traumatic experience on my own, but I cannot. My anxiety is getting bad..I am scared of a lot of things I was never scared about before getting sick. I am worried about coming off the blood thinners (even though I cannot wait to be off), I am worried about a lot to be honest.

I have decided to go to therapy. I need somebody to help me through this. I feel like a failure not being able to deal with this on my own. I am stubborn & have been fighting therapy...I kept telling myself I could do this. But also along with the 'being sick, could have died' part of therapy...I think it will be good to talk to somebody about adoption & all the things running through my head about that.

6 months ago my life forever changed. I am not the same as I was when I turned 30 on the 6th day of this year. I am a stronger, better person (at least I think) but I have a lot of issues I need to deal with to keep getting better...to keep getting stronger.

So I have a few numbers of therapist & will be making calls towards the end of this week.


2 comments:

  1. I found therapy very helpful and I hope you do too. No need to give yourself a hard time for needing a little help to get you over the hump. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are not a failure because you couldn't deal with this on your own. Just acknowledging that you need help is a great step towards feeling better. I hope that you find a therapist you click with and he/she can help you in whatever way you want them to!

    ReplyDelete

 
Template: Blog Designs by Sheila