I try to be strong, I try not to let this all get my down. I refuse to let infertility get to me. I will not let it define me...but today, today my heart hurts. With our decision to wait, I will turn 30 and not be a mother. I NEVER in my wildest dreams thought I would be 30 and not either already be a mom or have one on the way...but here I am, a little over 2 months away & no baby.
Something has also hit me...I will never carry a baby. I will never feel a kick, I will never watch my bell swell as my little one grows.
I have to remember on days like today, when my heart hurts so physically bad...it will be ok! I cannot be mad at myself for having days like this. I WILL be a mother & every heartache, every tear will all be worth it once LP is in my arms...I MUST remember this!