Friday, March 4, 2011
When I went to Reiki the other night, she began by asking me questions. You know the typical, tell me about your surgeries, complications, etc. Then she asked me something nobody has ever really asked. She asked me to stop thinking for a moment & go into my consciousness & say the first thing that comes up about my surgery in December where I had my ovary removed.
I have mentioned it on here before & it comes back to this...I feel empty.
She asked me to elaborate & I explained it wasn't a bad thing to me, I felt this emptiness was a new beginning for me; as if my life had been handed back to me & this emptiness paved a new way for me.
She found this all very interesting, as this is one of the biggest Buddhist philosophies. As much as I try to follow the Buddhist ways, I am still learning, so I wanted to read up on this more.
I stumbled a crossed this very interesting site online. "Form is emptiness; emptiness is form" This statement hit home to me.
As I continued to read on I got it, I understood why I didn't mourn this emptiness I felt, but rather celebrated it. "Emptiness must not be confused with nothingness. Emptiness is not non-existence and it is not non-reality."
Even though I have nothing remaining on my left side; no ovary, no tube, I am not sad. I do not feel as though I have nothing for me left. This was a big loss physically, but emotionally this emptiness has made me better, more at peace.
I am hoping this makes sense? Can you feel empty & at peace? Can you not mourn such an important loss, but more embrace it & thank your body for healing & giving you your life back? Because I sure think I can!!
Posted by PCOSChick at 7:59 PM