Monday, January 3, 2011

The How Dare She Rant

I normally try not to do a blog overload & write more than once, but after what happened today-I just had to rant!

Now I will preface by saying, I know what this woman did what she did; she wanted sympathy. Too bad she really, really was trying to get it from the wrong gal!

I received an email from a customer asking about a product. She asked a few questions & wanted to know if we could go down in price & I quote "because this is for my adopted son's first birthday & we are on a tight budget."

Did you read what I read...her ADOPTED son!!! Now, this woman is lucky that I had to stay professional & couldn't go off on her, because I had a few choice words to say.

How degrading to her son. How can you use that as your sympathy card...really?! I don't know, I guess I am already starting to become a momma bear & notice more when it comes to adoption. I notice what people say & how they react when you say adoption.

I could not believe this lady though. He may have been adopted. Your son WAS adopted! He is your son & this is his first birthday...being adopted has NOTHING to do with it. I felt sorry for her little boy when I read this; my heart ached for him. I hoped this was not normal for his mother. But then I got thinking, does she have biological children? If so WOW...does she consider them her children & him her adopted son?!

So much in her statement upset me. As a mother to be, I do not consider myself as an adoptive mother to be; maybe I am being naive...but LP will be my child. I would NEVER consider using adoption for sympathy or ever referring to my child as my adoptive child. That will be my kid, end of story!

9 comments:

  1. Why make the distinction at all? Like you said, he's her SON, adopted or not.

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  2. My cousin has two son's, one from adoption and one from birth. He was the first great grandchild, and shortly after there was another (from another cousin)...my grandmother use to distinguish between the two all the time until I got on her about it. It made me so mad that she would say that the second child was her first real great grandchild...It took me about a year to get her to stop.

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  3. uh huh. totally there with ya.

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  4. I don't blame you for making a rant! I find this really abhorrent. That she would call her son her "adopted son". Why would he be anything other than her son?

    I wonder if she calls herself an "adopted mother" or a mother? And if she is doing this at 1 year that means she will probably do it at 2 and 3 and so on.

    Sadly I have met people like this. They do exist. I can't comprehend these people. On the other hand I have a friend of mine here Down Under that has adopted two Indigenous children. Now they are clearly and most obviously adopted. When people are inquisitive as they naturally are she stands proud and answers their questions by saying "they are my children - my son and my daughter". And they say "she is our Mummy".

    Because they are.

    When I adopt my children they will be my children. You aren't being naive. From the moment your child enters your life they will be your son or your daughter. As Pregnant Yuppy said above "why make the distinction at all?"

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  5. Some people will use anything to get what they want. I've heard similar statements...someone wanting something because their child had cancer, etc. But, yeah that would have pissed me off too. I've certainy never heard my parents refer to either of my brothers as "adopted sons."

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  6. Wow. That pisses me off. Couldn't she have just said, "my son"? It's funny because the first thing that I thought of while reading this is that essay in A Love Like No Other where the reporter asks the mom, "So, which ones are yours?" Her reply rings in my ears:

    "I don't distinguish."

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  7. I came across your blog getting an early start on ICLW (I'm impatient and looking for something to read). I hear and understand your rant. That the statement came from someone who's family was created through adoption is even more fustrating. I would never say my "adopted brother." My brothers have always been just that my brothers. Even as a kid I didn't get the distinction, it was often pointed out as they are Asian and I am not. I don't think I ever heard my parents refer to them as their adopted sons. Even as I read your post and tried to think the phrase "my adopted brother" it sounded foreign. They're my brothers. Period.

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  8. How horrible. I hope you didn't give her a discount.

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  9. That kind of shit pisses me off. I know that my situation is not the same, but as soon as/if the court gives us perm custody of my niece and nephew, they will ALWAYS be known as OUR CHILDREN. There will be no distinction made between them and any birth children that we might have. And using that to try to get a discount???? Repugnant.

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