Monday, January 3, 2011

Emptiness

I am not sure how to explain it; my DH says it's in my head. I feel empty on one side. Like I almost feet like there is less weight on my left side. I feel like there is this empty hole where my ovary & tube used to be.

I do not know how to explain it other than, it does not feel like it did before the surgery. Is this normal? Does anyone else know what I mean? I am sure it may seem a bit crazy-but oh well!

I am also at almost 4 weeks post surgery (the 6th) & I feel like I mourned the loss more prior to surgery than I have after. I feel like ever since my surgery, I had 1 really bad day & now I am just excited, excited at getting better. I am happy about feeling better & being on the road to recovery. The thought of feeling better & being healthy once LP comes home is just so exciting to me.

As much as I feel empty inside, I also feel whole again....

4 comments:

  1. Maybe it's that whole phantom limb thing? You know when people lose an arm or leg, but they can still feel it? Phantom ovary?

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  2. You aren't crazy AT ALL. When I had the tumor removed from my right breast, my right boob looked (and felt) lighter. I still feel that way. Sitting here right now, my left boob is definitely heavier. So it's not in your head. :) I am so glad that you are feeling better and whole again. What a wonderful feeling!

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  3. Yes, I've felt that way. After my ectopic and surgery...and I think inside I'm still mourning the loss of my tube...of what could have been. Maybe I always will...I don't know. But, I've been there. You aren't crazy at all. Hugs!

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  4. I can't imagine what you are going through. What an odd inner conflict. Stay strong! :-)

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