Saturday, July 31, 2010

4th Day

What is my favorite book? I must say I was never a read growing up. My mom was always telling me I should read more, but to be honest, I was too busy with other things! Reading was never anything that I really started enjoying until my mid 20s.

I found Jodi Picoult and fell in love. I really do enjoy all her books, but Plain Truth I would say has to be my favorite! If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Day 3-Favorite Show

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Day 2

What is your favorite movie?! Splash...yes, my favorite movie of all time is a movie from the early 80s. This movie has a lot of special memories for me & made me cry every time I watched it. So for your viewing pleasure (this makes me giggle) here is the trailer for the movie!

I'm Sick to my Stomach!

I am absolutely sick to my stomach & could cry!! A guy I graduated high school with was arrested yesterday for killing his 8 month old son. This was not his first time being in trouble with the law when it comes to child abuse. Apparently he has an older son, who he scolded when he was 1 month old. Apparently he spent over a year in jail for that. Now this little boy, 8 months old, was bitten, choked & beat. How could ANYONE do something like that to a baby?!

There are so many of us that would have been more than happy to take those little boys if the parents felt they could not take care of them. If he felt that him & his wife were not cut out for parenting, why not put them up for adoption. Why beat them & torture them?! Why kill a helpless little one?

This just proves to me even more there needs to be testing to become a parent. While my husband & I were at the police station yesterday getting fingerprints for our FBI background check to prove that we can be good parents, this sicko was being arrested. How is that fair?! It's NOT!

I'm so upset right now. I really could go on a major rant, but I'm trying to hold myself back. I'm sick, I'm sad, I'm reminded how unfair life & this IF journey can be. I hope this guy gets everything that is coming to him. I only hope that little boy is in peace, where he can no longer be hurt.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day 1 of 30

Well today's question in the 30 day journal is what is my favorite song? I am a HUGE music person & this was a bit tough for me, but when I thought about it, there really was one clear answer. So, here it is:

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

30 Day Blog Journal

I saw this on Kaitlin's blog at Ah... My Married Life & thought it seemed like fun. Starting tomorrow I will be doing the 30 day blog journal! Join along because I'd love to learn more about you!

Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where I live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - my worst habit
Day 28 - whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future

Monday, July 26, 2010

Adoption Fundraiser-Garage Sale

Well it's almost here! Our big adoption garage sale. Needless to say this has become a huge hassle that has been stress filled.

Our neighborhood does not allow garage sales, so we were planning on having it for 3 days at my parents. Well needless to say, without warning the city decided last week to shut down their street and do road work. MAJOR PROBLEM!! 

Mind you, we have been collecting items for months now & have stuff EVERYWHERE! Canceling the sale really wasn't an option with all the goodies we had so we needed to find a plan B!

Come in our good friend J. He has very graciously offered his house. Honestly, I think this will be better. He lives right off a very main road here in town, so I think between that and our ads online and 2 papers, we will have a successful sale! At least I hope so.

I can honestly say after all that has gone into this, I will be very disappointed if it doesn't do well & will also have to really think about doing another one in the future.

Any advice for a us on pricing, tips etc?! I am open to any help!! I have been reading different things on the pricing & really haven't decided what we are doing yet. Guess I will just go with the flow :)

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner!!

 The winner of the yoga ball & DVDs from Yoga4Fertility is Josey from My Cheap Version of Therapy. Josey, if you can please email me your address, I will get this sent out for you!

Thank you to all of you who entered

Friday, July 23, 2010

Friday 5

I decided to try something a bit new this Friday & went to Friday5.org to find out what today's questions were! So here you go, enjoy...

1) Besides plain, what's your favorite way to eat an apple? Sliced with peanut butter on each slice
2) Besides plain, what's your favorite way to eat berries? In a pie; blueberry, blackberry, etc=yummy
3) Besides plain, what's your favorite way to eat a banana? In pudding...banana pudding is my fave
4) Besides plain, what's your favorite way to eat a peach? In my grandma's peach cobbler 
5) Besides plain, what's your favorite way to eat a pineapple? Hanging off a tropical drink in the Caribbean


Now you know how I like my fruit! How do you like yours?!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Welcome July ICLWers


Cannot believe it is already time of ICLW again!! Where has the month gone?!

Welcome everyone! I am so glad you have stopped by :) A bit about Mr. PCOSChick & I can be found here. This will give you a bit of an idea on our timeline.

Right now we have a lot going on! After my lap in June, we found out my left ovary & tube will need to be removed, as it has become a mess with my bowels.  In order to save my bowels, the others must go. I have surgery set for December 9th & I must admit, it is very bitter sweet. I am ready to be rid of the pain & be back on the mend-getting ready for our little LP!! But at the same time, it is defeat. As of now, I am doing ok, but it is still a bit off.

In other news-our adoption is moving right along!! We only have 1 last thing to do for Colombia & a bit of paperwork for our homestudy. A homestudy date has also been set; August 25th!

All in all, I cannot believe all that has happened since ICLW last month! This is a very exciting, stressful, fun, nerve wracking time...

Thank you all for stopping by & checking out our story.

Wordless Wednesday-Mmmmm Desserts..hehe

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Giveaway Time!!

I am soooo excited about this giveaway!! I was contacted by Yoga 4 Fertility, which was designed my the lovely Brenda Strong. They graciously gave me 1 of their fertility balls & 2 DVDs to try out & then another set of everything to give away!

I have to say, after trying out these products I was so relaxed, calm & just overall feeling well. I LOVED it & have been doing the DVDs & using the ball a few times a week since I got it!

So now, it's your turn!! I want to pass along these great products. From now until next Saturday, July 24th you can enter this contest. I will end the contest at midnight est on the 24th & announce the winner on the 25th!

How can you enter?! It's easy!
-Tell me about what you do now to relax & try to stay calm while going through this IF roller coaster
For extra entries
-Follow my blog & leave a comment telling me a bit about you & your journey
-Follow Yoga4Fertility on Twitter (make sure you leave a comment telling me you did)
-Tweet (& you can do this everyday!) about this giveaway. Make sure you include me, PCOSChick & Yoga4Fertility in that tweet!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Doing the Boy or Girl Lean!


The age ole debate of boy or girl. As soon as you tell somebody you are expecting (no matter if you are pregnant or adopting) they are sure to ask that question! "What do you want? A boy or a girl?!"
I remember my mom telling me that when she was pregnant for me (remember I am the oldest) that she wanted a little girl soooooo bad that she wouldn't tell anyone. She felt by telling anyone she would jinx herself. The day came for my parents to go to find out my sex. Now, as I am all sure you know, back in the early 80s, the ultrasounds were not as good & they did most everything by your heartbeat!
Well, they told my mom I was a boy. She said she refused to cry at the doctor's office. It was not that she didn't want a boy or wouldn't love a boy, she just had her heart set on a little girl for her first born. Fast forward a few months & my mom's wish came true! She said she knew as long as she never told anyone, she surely would get her girl.
I never understood this story, not even when we first started the adoption process. People would ask me what we wanted, or what we said we would accept & my answer was always "either, because if I were pregnant I wouldn't get to choose."
I still very much feel that we will be given what we are meant to have, so I would never say we want one more than another; however I am starting to understand my mom's story a bit more.
Yes, I have started to lean! I am leaning towards one more than the other. I really never saw this coming either! Now, do not get me wrong, if we get the other sex, I am not going to be mad, I am not going to love that child any less-but I can say in my heart, I just have a feeling of what LP will be, & yes, I am leaning towards that sex.
So only time will tell. Will my story end like my mom's or will my little one be of the opposite sex & I look back thinking "how in the world did I think I wanted the other sex more than what LP is?!"

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Monday, July 12, 2010

Generosity of Others

I have been wanting to write this post for a while now, but never truly knew what to say or how to really get my point across!

When we decided to start this adoption journey, we had NO idea the overwhelming response we would get from our relatives, friends & even people we have never met.

I've always known this planet was full of caring, loving, generous people, but nothing could have full prepared me for what was to come our way when we announced we were adopting!

To say that I cannot say thank you enough to all those that have helped us thus far is an understatement! I wish I could go to each person's house & really explain what they have done for us & getting closer to bringing LP home!

From a friend in London donating $100, to QuackBack doing a fundraiser for us; perfect strangers donating items for our garage sale at the end of the month, to my BFF L donating her eggs & giving us 25% of what she gets.

Then there are all of you, my blogger & Twitter followers. Donations have been received, words of encouragement, support & so much more! I really cannot thank all of you enough either.

The tears I have shed over how loved we feel & seeing how loved LP is already are tears of joy. Tears of overwhelming thankfulness.

Mr PCOSChick & I will NEVER be able to thank everyone enough & fully express how thankful we are for EVERYTHING!!

As I said before, I knew there were lots of good people, however I guess I never really had any idea! So thank you, each & everyone of you! You will never understand how much it means!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Childhood

The lovely Holly over at Ready to be a Mom did a great post yesterday about childhood & memories. I loved it so much I asked her if I could "steal" it for her, & she said I could!! Thanks Holly!!

Like Holly, I too think about my future child(ren) & what kind of childhood I would like them to have. It's a lot to think about & what I wish for them & what my hopes & dreams are for them. I do know that the DH & I will do everything in our power to make sure they have the best up bringing they can.

In the meantime, while we still think of all we want for our little one(s) I will share a bit about my childhood!

  • Where/when you born? I was born in January in a blizzard in Ohio.
  • Were you born first, second, etc.? I am the oldest, I have a brother that is 3 years younger. I love that guy to death! I always thought he was my little baby when we were younger, always being little mommy!
  • What was your first pet? A sucker fish names Mr Papadopoulos, yes, I named my fish after a character on Webster!
  • What were you for your first Halloween? I was Strawberry Shortcake. My mom had worked really hard & made me this cute little outfit-complete with drawn on black freckles on my cheeks!
  • Was there a gift you really wanted for Christmas that you never received? Gosh, is it sad that if there was something I asked for & didn't get it, I do not remember. I do not mean I always got what I wanted, I just do not remember asking for something multiple times & didn't get.
  • Did you have any imaginary friends? Yep, & please do not laugh at this! My imaginary friend, Sadie, well she lived in the dryer-that was the only way I could explain why socks disappeared! She lived in everyone's dryers-my grandparents, etc...guess she traveled with me! We still joke about her because I would even stick my head in the dryer (no it wasn't on) & talk to her! To be honest, I still think she lives in my dryer, because I keep loosing socks in there!
  • What were your favorite books? Anything Berenstain Bear, Ramona s & Amelia Bedelia (which I did find at a thrift store & bought for LP's bookshelf!)
  • What did you wanna be when you grew up? I wanted to be a dance teacher, that was all I ever dreamnt about, talked about; wanted.
  • Favorite after-school, never-missed shows? I never was home much after school because I normally went straight to dance classes...I do remember Rescue Rangers though.
  • What was your favorite toy? For my 6th birthday my grandma got me a Little Foot from the Land Before Time-he traveled all over the world with me, has gone through surgeries with me, etc! He still sits on my nightstand.
  • What was your first best friend's name? I was the only girl in my neighborhood, so I was stuck with a bunch of boys, all mostly older. There was 1 boy who was my ages-James...we were best friends until 3rd grade when he moves.
  • Broken any bones or had any freaky accidents as a kid? I pulled a grandfather clock on myself when I was 18 months old.
  • Did you play house or pretend to be a super hero? Again, being around all boys-it was mostly super heros..ha
  • Were you romantically involved with someone as a pre-teen? Ahh, gotta love the middle school "boyfriends" I was sooo cool because I was in 8th grade & he was a freshman-I was dating a high schooler!
  • Did you get along with your parents growing up? I think you always have moments when you do not get along with your parents growing up-it's rough for all parties involved. I do not think I really got along with them & appreciated them until I was 22 though.
  • Were you involved in any extra-curricular activities? If so, what? I did so much it was crazy! Dance, dance team, prom committee, lunch buddies, and any business club.
  • What was the first record, tape or CD you remember buying? I bought a CD from KMart & we had 1 car with a CD player, so I would go sit in the car & listen to my awesome Selena CD
  • Did you ever fall in love with someone in high school? Yes, we were together the last 2 years of high school & 2 more in college-sadly, it was a waste of time...but I learned what I didn't want!
  • Did you enjoy your childhood? It wasn't shabby :)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Falls

Here is a picture I took of the Maid of the Mist on the 4th of July. I was so glad I was able to catch this amazing rainbow with my camera phone.

This trip was exactly what I needed, it really could not have come at a better time! I was so upset on Saturday having to deal with everything with the surgery & I really was a nervous wreck. So I am glad we got to get away.

We got in late on Saturday & when we went to check in got informed there was a cancellation for the Jr. Presidential Suite-so yes, we were the lucky ones that got upgraded!! What a surprise & even more what I needed. We went to our room to find a full living room, kitchen, spa, big bedroom & 1 wall of our room being windows that over looked the falls.

We decided to be true tourist yesterday & went on a tour that took us on the Maid of the Mist, the rapids & the whirlpool. I was glad we were able to do this, however I can say that Niagara for us is one of those places we can now check off our list & we will not be going back.

It truly was nothing like we expected, alot more touristy & almost a mini Vegas. But we did have a good time & like I said, the timing could not have been better.

I have decided to have the surgery if I can get in within the next 3 weeks; if not...then I will have to wait until after we get LP.

Thank you for all the support, words of wisdom & encouragement...I really do appreciate it!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

4th of July


Wish all of you a VERY Happy & Safe 4th of July!!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Stressing Out Big Time!

So I've talked with my DH & my family & they all feel I should do the surgery & asap.

But here is where I run into problems & my stress kicks in. If it can be done laparoscopically then it is only a week recovery-I can handle that. But if for some reason I have to be cut, you are looking at 6 weeks & that just does not work. In 3 weeks I have BlogHer, the week after that we are going to the in-laws, Labor Day my DH is in a wedding in Chicago & then our busy season at work starts. Soooooo if I have to be cut, I have to cancel BlogHer, the in-laws & possibly not go to the wedding.

I have to be up & going by the first part of September, therefore my mom wants me to have surgery this week if he could get me in (which I doubt) She thinks I should not wait.

I also worry that we sent our homestudy contract in & they should be calling anyday now to set that all up...I'm a stressing out fool right now. This is all too much to take!! If the surgery isn't enough, now trying to figure out when to do it.

I just hope that when I call him Tuesday they can get me in within the next week or 2 & that it can be done without cutting.

Any & all calming vibes would be GREATLY appreciated right now, as I may pull my hair out!!

Friday, July 2, 2010

The Head Spin of a Doctors Appt


Ok this will be a whirlwind, fast (maybe not coherent post) since I am at work!

My doctors appointment was filled with ups & downs & needless to say, my head is spinning! (yes, if you took a picture of me now, I would look like this girls <--)

So I will just start!

He cried...my doctor cried, good ole Dr. Phonebook. He said he wished he could do something to give me a baby & help. But he has tried & he knows I have too & there really isn't much more he could do. He has sent me to one of the best RE's he has done multiple surgeries, etc. He said he doesn't know how I have fought for so long or how I keep doing this, that I am one of his strongest patients.

Now I was doing really well until he cried, then I was a goner...grrr. Oh well, not like he has not seen me cry before!

Anyhow, my right side is good. He showed me the pictures-my right side is awesome, looks healthy & strong. You could see my tube & my ovary...my uterus even looks good. Now to the left side! I wish I could say the same thing as I did on the right. My left side kind of looks like Fredy Krugers face (only way I can think to describe it). You are totally unable to see my ovary or tube due to the fact that the scar tissue, adhesions, & now my bowels are in casing them.

He was not even able to see enough of anything to be able to tell if the cyst were still there! So I will be having another ultrasound in 2 weeks to see if the cyst are there & what is going on with that side.

I have options. I have good things going for me & things that worry my doc. My endo is not very bad right now, so that is good-that gives hope that my ovary & everything will not get worse very fast. But at the sametime, the fact that I do have the endo is a worry, because that means it can get worse & to the point where it could possibly puncture a hole in my bowels.

If I have surgery they would like to try to do it laparoscopically, but it may not be able to be done that way once they get in. It would be Dr. Phonebook along with a general surgeon & would take probably 3-4 hours. If they got in & felt it safely could not be done laparoscopically they would have to cut me. I do not worry about this, since I am already cut this way & he would go in the same place..it's more the recovery time. Lap=1 week recovery, cut=6 weeks!

He of course talked risk & the big one is possibly puncturing my bowels. If this were to happen, you (sorry for the TMI) get a colostomy bag for about 3 months while everything heals, then they go in & fix everything. Sounds fun, right?!

I trust him, I trust he will not hurt me, I trust I will not have a colostomy bag. I asked him if he had seen worse, he said yes. I then asked if he had operated on worse; again, yes. I asked if any had a colostomy bag & the answer was no...so ok then!

This surgery worries me though, I will not put on my brave face & lie. Most of my surgeries do not bug me...only my back surgery really worried me & this one ranks up there with that. I worry about my bowels more than anything...but like I said, I trust him & feel I am in good hands. If he felt that it wasn't possible to fix, I do not think he would even offer.

So where I stand right now is to get my ultrasound in 2 weeks & have some time to think & then we will go from there.

I worry though, I worry about timing. If it is a week recovery, then ok...let's get the ball rolling, if it is 6...not so good. We have trips & weddings coming up. My busy season at work & then the holidays. Then I worry once we get past the 1st of the year what if we get the call about LP & I am laid up...I just do not know what to do.

My DH feels I need to do it now, because there will always be an excuse & right now I have the least excuses possible. So I think I will talk to Dr Phonebook & ask that if they go in laparoscopically & feel it cannot be done, if they can then close me up & we can reschedule for cutting at a later time...I just don't know if that is even an option though...so we will see.

So on to the other news. As I said earlier, my right side is good & my uterus is good. He asked if I wanted my uterus gone & at first I said yes...I mean, why would I want to keep more than I have to when it doesn't work right & chance having to go through another surgery to get rid of it. Then I asked him if he thought I could carry a child. He feels that I would be a good candidate for embryo adoption. Um...what?! He thinks I have a good oven! (head really starts spinning)

He also feels my right ovary is good & if we wanted to do surrogacy that they could get enough eggs from that side to try. So wow, I have more options than I thought.

I won't lie though..I am scared s%$tless of getting pregnant & loosing a child. I've always worried about that & I worry if we adopted an embyro I would loose the baby..then what, I would be a mess?! But I will not worry about that now.

We want to continue on our journey to LP..no doubt in our minds & if I have the surgery leave my uterus & rightside goodies..that way we have options for baby #2. But then I get back to worrying ( I do this very well) What if LP felt left out because the 2nd child was carried by me, etc...so all things we have to think about & possibly deal with.

For now...I am here...ha I really don't know what to think of it all. It's a lot to take in. But I can tell you, I truly feel in my heart that if I get rid of this bad in me (my leftside) then my rightside, the good will take over. I feel it will regulate it's self & I will get me back.

I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of not being me, I'm tired of this ruling my life...I just think I need to get rid of the bad & it will be ok.

So yeah...my doctor's appointment in a nutshell! Sorry choppy!!
 
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