Every family is different, unique in various ways. When my husband and I decided to adopt, we knew we’d be creating our family, but we had no idea how, exactly, it would happen. There were days when we were filling out paperwork and crunching numbers that we weren’t sure it would happen. The initial adoption preparations kept us busy for about four months—the classes, the making of a profile book, the collecting of references, all of it gave us a sense of purpose. The exact procedure on preparing to adopt varies from state to state, but for domestic adoption, typically once you are “home study approved” and you’ve gotten your profile book (or web profile) together, you begin the wait. You begin the wait to be chosen by an expectant mother who is considering adoption. You begin to wait for your social worker or lawyer to call, to tell you that you are in the running or that an expectant mother would like to meet you. The wait could be short, or the wait could be more than a year. The wait is not easy.
I say that, but honestly, our wait was short. Our wait was only four months long, and the adoption of our daughter was as smooth and by-the-book as it could be. Macey came home in August 2005, and our family of three was made. Macey’s is an open adoption, which means we have exchanged identifying information with her birthparents, and, in our case, we have frequent contact. In February 2008, her birthmother asked us if we would be able to parent the child she was expecting, due in June.
Without a moment’s hesitation, we jumped back onto the paperwork treadmill. We updated our home study, made arrangements for adoption leave, and prepared to welcome home Macey’s brother. Nothing is final until the placement paperwork is signed, but we knew either way, Macey would be becoming a big sister. Late on the evening of June 20, 2008, we were invited to the hospital to be there when Junior entered the world. A few days later, we brought him home.
Six years ago, as we were in the middle of being poked and prodded by our RE, had someone told me that we’d be parents to two amazing children, I would have thought it was just wishful thinking. Now we have a daughter who is almost five, and a son who is almost two. Families are made in different ways, and the way ours has been made couldn’t be better.