Friday, December 3, 2010
I do not worry about the pain of the surgery, I do not worry about recovery time-this is old hat (sadly) for me. I worry about my heart!
I know I am infertile, I know I will never have children, this is all ok. I have had time to deal & know that this all has happened for a reason. I am excited for the adventure ahead of us & how our family is growing through adoption. However, I still have a hard time with the fact that my body failed.
Surgery is a reminder of how my body failed me, my husband, my family. Surgery makes my heart hurt in a way that is deep & gut wrenching.
I worry about being a burden to my family & having to be taken care of. This is so very hard for me. This will be my 5th surgery since my DH & I have been married & it just weighs on me. I know he loves me, I know he stands by me no matter what...but this is just another hurt.
I know I probably shouldn't hurt like this. If I am ok with not being able to have children, why does it still hurt so that my body failed?
With each surgery, my heart hurts a bit more-I add another band-aid to it & move forward.
Posted by PCOSChick at 8:58 AM