Sunday, September 26, 2010

What a Difference a Year Makes

Almost exactly a year ago we got my DH's diagnoses of Azoospermia and my world was crumbling before my eyes. I was more upset and hurt over his "issue" than my own. Mine, I could deal with. Mine we could try treatments with and have a better chance of conceiving. His, well his really was a huge problem so many levels with us. If we just had to deal with my PCOS and my other goodies or just had to deal with his, we would have been in a totally different boat.

Almost exactly a year ago all I could do was cry. I was almost non functioning as I saw my dream of motherhood going down the drain. This all changed with a picture my friend took at her OB/GYN. She had seen a poster about an adoption class at a local hospital, took a picture of it for me and that poster changed our life. That poster gave me hope. That poster landed my husband and I in an adoption class a few weeks later; to face our diagnoses, to face our fears, to find out where we were meant to be. That one poster has brought us to where we are now!

As my DH and I were having dinner the other night it dawned on me all this was about a year ago. It's amazing how a year can change your life. How one simple poster or moment can turn everything around. Here we are, a year later almost done with our dossier and at peace. I am at peace with the fact that I will never carry a child; a year ago I would have thought you were nuts if you had told me I would be here. A year ago we would have never thought that becoming parents was so near in our future.

We now talk about how we would like to go back to this adoption class and speak with others that were in our same position. How we would love to give others the hope we have found and let them know it is going to be okay; you will be a parent.

I cannot wait for this time next year to see how things have changed, because I would have never thought I would be here now; so I can only imagine in another year!


  1. A lot of changes you've gone through! I can just tell how strong this had made you. What a blessing for you to be able to use what you've gone through and help others out- give back what you've received. We all need to do this. High five!

  2. Hooray! Love it when a bit of time helps you gain a new perspective. Can't wait to hear more about your adoption soon.
    Cheese Curds and Kimchi

  3. oh gosh, i TOTALLY get you on this. i remember feeling the exact same way when my husband got his diagnosis. when we got my pcos diagnosis earlier, i felt like we could deal with it and it was a relatively easy fix...but with the azoo, i just felt...helpless. and crushed.

    and now, 2 years later, i'm in a much better place. i still sometimes am sad about the little things of having a biological child (having a newborn, wondering who s/he'll look like, etc), but more than anything, i am thrilled for our adoption and cannot wait to have our son home. that's what consumes my thoughts now. :)

  4. The Azoo diagnosis is a heart-breaking one. I thought I would just die.
    Time helps so much..although it doesn't feel like that the day you get that phone call.
    So happy for you and the much better place 1 year later.

  5. It is amazing how much can change in a year and I'm glad you have had positive change! Best of luck on your adoption!!

    ICLW #43

  6. what a beautiful post and what a wonderful, peaceful place to be....Thinking of you and this year coming!!!!


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