Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Money Aversion

I have a very strong aversion to spending money! Anything over a couple hundred dollars sends me into a panic. I get hot & sweaty, I start breathing heavy, I feel guilty; it's not pretty!

Back 5 years ago when I bought my place my parents literally had to fan me while I signed the contract. All those dollar signs flashing before my eyes was just too much for me & the hot flashes were a comin'

I've been this way for as long as I remember. Even if I know what I am spending money on is a necessity, like clothing or household appliances..it still freaks me out.

So today when we got the bill for the adoption agency, even though I knew it would be coming I still freaked. The DH was even joking saying that he needed to find me a paper bag!

I am so very excited as this is just another step closer to LP, do not get me wrong, but the money thing is still hard for me. On so many levels the money issue is much harder for me with this than even just buying my house. I don't think it's fair that we have to spend this much to become parents. I don't think anyone should have to pay this much to start a family..but that is another issue!

I need to learn to relax. I need to just think it's money & not freak when I see our dwindling savings! I know 120% that every penny will be worth it & not even matter once I have LP in my arms...but until then, I will just have my freak outs & keep the paper sacks & fans close by!

But I wonder, am I the only one like this?!

4 comments:

  1. NO, you are not the only one. I freak out when I need to spend money. It's ridiculous. But just remember you are going to bring home the ultimate gift at the end of this. That alone is worth all the money in the world!

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  2. I am as frugal as frugal comes, so I totally get it!

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  3. Oh yeah, I totally freak out when I think about how much we spent on IF treatments and adoption, and how we will spend on future treatments and adoptions. But like you said--totally worth it! Well, at least the adoption $$ was :)

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  4. I feel you on this one! As much as I love to buy things I hate spending money..lol especially large sums..I just picture how much better that money looks in our savings! lol but its certainly for a good cause!

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