Now that I know it isn't just me & my DH plays a major role in this, it made yesterday's surgery was so different. I did not have that hope & apparently even told my hubby in my drugged stupor that it was a useless surgery, that there would be no baby. I remember him telling me it wasn't useless, that I would feel better.
I know I will feel better, but I think my lack of hope with this surgery has made it hurt more. I know it wasn't useless, I know I will feel better & I have to feel better. I have to feel better for my baby that is to come.
But for now it hurts a bit more than it probably should. I know there is no getting pregnant at the end of this surgery tunnel, but I do know there will be a baby. I know once I feel better & the drugs wear of & I get back on track, it will be better & there will be a baby. And when that day comes, I will look back on this surgery & all the others & know even though I went through so much, it will be worth every bit of the pain.