Saturday, June 20, 2009

That was a Blow

I guess I was all prepared for Clomid; I had been studious and done all my research, tweeted with people, I was READY! Guess what, the doctor was not :(

So I go for my yearly and as soon as he walks in I hear "you have that look, where it says it's time to do something." You better believe it buddy! This TTC for almost 2 years at this point and nothing to show, "show me the Clomid!" And then comes the blow. I am still trying to figure out why this was such a blow to me; maybe because I felt like I was loosing a step, a possibility at a little one. But he goes on to explain he does not feel that Clomid will really work for me. He tells me that since being on the glumetza, I have been regular and so he feels I am ovulating and the Clomid will not help me any and we probably need to go straight for the IUI. WOW, was not expecting that at all! I was expecting to walk out with a prescription, not a 'go straight to treatments!'

So after getting home to my DH and crying and babbling like an idiot, I decided to buckle down and do research. Back to square one, but this isn't the end of the world. I have always known this was going to be an issue for me, so I just have to roll with the punches. I knew this was all going to be hard, but I guess it is proving to be harder than I thought it would be on me emotionally. I am EXTREMELY lucky though, my hubby is amazing and is willing to do whatever and stands by my side. (at least he had some heads up too that I came with issues..ha)

I found out that my insurance covers NOTHING, NADA, ZERO fertility treatments, and the gentleman was even nice enough to list off everyone treatment that the didn't cover. Gee, that was nice of him and I just wanted to tell him to shut up 1/2 way through, but I was nice (as hard as it was).

I am now at this spot where I am almost determined to prove I am not ovulating. Sounds weird I know, but I just do not feel like I am. If I was, I do not feel the issues would such as they are. So I am prepared to go to Target today and get a thermometer, and ov kit and go from there. But who knows if this is really going to help me any, but worth a shot.

I also will be having a HSG next week, so we will how that all goes too. The doctor says that a lot of women get pregnant within a few months of that test, gosh I hope it is that easy! If it is, I will let you do dye test on me any day!

Just another bump in the road, but I guess I am really starting to find out how much being a mom is really meaning to me. I have always known, but wow. One day, somehow, I will be a mom, it will happen!

Ok, enough jumping around for now!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Where to Start?! Con't

So where was I?! Oh yes, starting to take you down surgery lane with me! I will make this short and painless (even though it wasn't for me!)

Yeah, so at 19, surgery #1, the day after Christmas to be exact. But I did not go on my merry way after that :( I had all these problems. No period, for almost 5 years, night sweats like you could not believe(thought that came later in life), I could barely stay awake and more. So I start with the dr's circuit. Start with my OB, which whom I may add is a wonderful person and I lucked out! I got to where I lived in his office and he really was trying to help me figure out what was going on. See, I am not your typical PCOS patient, I have lots of fun extras added in! My hormone levels will drop to zero(just to name one of those great extras I was the winner of). Long story short he ended up sending me to a reproductive endocrinologist here in town-guy was a real ass, so I ended up driving to another state for one of the best in the midwest. He was great and right away found my PCOS and other goodies.

Had another surgery 2 years ago to do a decompression, laser the endro. and a few other things. Wow, did I feel great after that! I was soooo excited and right after that is when I met my hubby. Now, I was honest with him from the get go. The whole "I may not be able to have kids" talk happened and he didn't run! (I married him a few months later) Right after we got married..it got bad, REAL bad! Back to the specialist and he decided to do an ovarian wedge along with, once again, a whole lot of goodies! That surgery put me out 6 weeks and gave me a run for my money to say the least. Got a pretty scar, which looks like I had a baby, to prove it.

Well, yeah, that is the Readers Digest version. Hope it did not skip around too much, but you get the point.

So yeah, that is where I am now. My hubby and I have been married over a year, and we know with things already against me, along with age starting to kick in, that means its time to start this adventure together! (FYI-have not been "trying" but have not being trying to stop it for over 2 yrs now)

I actually have an appointment tomorrow to get all the information and my script for Clomid. I am excited, scared and a bundle of nerves. They say you won't be a good mom if you aren't nervous when you decided to officially start trying, so here is hoping to I will be a good one, when and if it happens!

On that note, I am going to end with this music video I found yesterday. I think as I start my journey this pretty much sums it up.

Where to Start?!

I see everyone blogging & I want to join the bandwagon! I feel like a) it's a good way for me to get my frustrations out b) just share with others what I am going through and c) to let others know they are not alone!

Let me start by introducing myself. I am known on Twitter as PCOSChick, so for now, that will stick! I am in my late 20's, as is my amazing husband and we are starting our trip together down this infertile road. Remember, 'together' is a keyword here. This is all newer to the hubby, I on the other hand have been getting the "heads up" from every doctor I have been to since I was about 19. Gosh, that was a long time ago now! Sometimes it just seems like yesterday that the first doctor told me; those words that shocked me and gave my life a new spin!

I was 19 when I had my first surgery. At that time I just had extremely bad endometriosis and some ovarian cycst. They told me they would do a lapo. surgery and I would be on my merry way. If that were the case, the last years would not have felt like I was living at the doctors!

And on that note, I must go for now! So I guess I have started this first blog as a "to be continued." Maybe that will actually get me readers? LOL-I am trying to build the suspense already, and I know EVERYONE is dying to know about all my doctors and traveling to find what was wrong!

Until then....
 
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